I’ve saved the world

I’ve saved the world

George Wright (Political Officer, Ex-Secretary, Former Deputy Returning Officer, Ex-Treasurer, Ex-Whip, Ex-Committee Member, St John’s College) is an undergraduate in his second year of studying Philosophy, Politics, and Economics.

Just before Christmas in 2008, Gordon Brown gave us all an early present by claiming to have “saved the world” at Prime Minister’s Questions. Sadly, he had tripped over his tongue. Instead, the then PM confirmed that it was the international banking sector which had been safeguarded by his programme of recapitalisation, rather than the entirety of civilisation. Disappointing. But now, a decade on from his infamous slip-up, I believe I can asseverate to have succeeded where Gordon fell short: I have saved the world.

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Ticket to nowhere? Sure, that’ll be £60 billion, Sir

Ticket to nowhere? Sure, that’ll be £60 billion, Sir

George Wright (Political Officer, Ex-Secretary, Former Deputy Returning Officer, Ex-Treasurer, Ex-Whip, Ex-Committee Member, St John’s College) is an undergraduate in his second year of studying Philosophy, Politics, and Economics.

In the not too distant past, I found myself on a flight to Berlin. The plane landed at Schönefeld airport, taxied to its terminal before a few hundred excitable Brits flowed briskly onto German soil. Predictably, the airport was orderly and well signposted, so within a matter of minutes, I arrived at the border, was greeted with a stern ‘Willkommen’ by a slightly disgruntled official and commanded to move along with a Tinder-ish swipe of the fingers. It was all eerily German.

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Britain is in decline; we have stopped worshipping feet

Britain is in decline; we have stopped worshipping feet

George Wright (Ex-Secretary, Former Deputy Returning Officer, Ex-Treasurer, Ex-Whip, Ex-Committee Member, St John’s College) is an undergraduate in his second year of studying Philosophy, Politics, and Economics.

A few weeks ago, I rode a bicycle through the impeccably delightful countryside of East Anglia. It was an experience which reminded me of two things: one, I’ve become helplessly unfit and two, quaint rural road signs demarcating distances in miles are so much more pleasurable to behold than those measuring in kilometres. Not only in length, but in capacity and mass too do we see the peculiarity and specificity of the imperial system far outshining the dull mundanity of Napoleon’s autocratic metric potion. And metric measurements are exactly that: autocratic. They emanate from the same mindset which adores order, control and standardisation – the evisceration of unique quirkiness is supplanted by a Germanic obsession with neatness and divisibility by ten. 

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Brexit will lead us to either dominance or death

Brexit will lead us to either dominance or death

George Wright (Ex-Secretary, Former Deputy Returning Officer, Ex-Treasurer, Ex-Whip, Ex-Committee Member, St John’s College) is an undergraduate in his second year of studying Philosophy, Politics, and Economics.

Well, maybe. Political discourse is the natural habitat of the hyperbole and you would be excused for thinking I’m doing my part to enrich the biodiversity contained within it. But before you chastise me too harshly for desperately trying to resuscitate project fear, let’s take stock of exactly where we find ourselves. For nearly three years, our parliamentarian overlords have equivocated and tergiversated and blabbered about how Brexit means Brexit. The government has spent month after month dealing in the currency of can-kicking, spitting vacuous metaphor after vacuous metaphor until no BBC studio was left un-moistened by the collective phlegm of their inchoate prolixity. 

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